Pass the Cottage Cheese Please~ introducing LPG

I scurried up the stairs to the doctor’s office in Beverly Hills. I’d spent the morning working fervously: writing posts via social media to promote my new hive-meets-health venture titled HoneyColony, swapping perks on my Indiegogo campaign (Selina Naturally sea salts for Nutiva’s organic hempseeds); ”circling back” with WholeFoods on their honeybee campaign; and discussing Vanishing of the Bees with our domestic distributor FilmBuff. 

I am eternally a busy bee (a much better label than ‘workaholic’). 

I hoped they wouldn’t be too upset that I was running late. 

The placard on the door read “Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery.” 

Was I in the wrong building? What the hell did plastic surgery have to do with fibromyalgia? 

I was working on a story for Cosmopolitan Online on the rise of fibromyalgia amid women, and slated to try western medicine’s take on an alternative treatment. The technique was aimed at soothing symptoms of fibromyalgia; symptoms like my chronic everyday widespread pain. 

I walked in. I always wanted to see the inside of a plastic factory. 

Wood panels. Brown carpet. An old building circa 1967.  Not as glam as the vagionoplasty office I’d visited on assignment years ago - that was for sure. 

Immediately two pretty assistants assured me I was in the right place.

After filling out oodles of paperwork, I was lead into an examining room and handed a sheer white one-piece leotard scrunched up into the size of a tennis ball. 

“You need to wear this since you can’t use the LPG technique on bare skin.”  

When the girls exited, I noticed I was sharing the room with a futuristic white machine on rollers with a tentacle jutting out and a touchscreen embedded in its trunk, featuring an image of holographic woman. 

I stripped down to my undies and hopped on a padded bed before hearing a knock.  

The Iranian assistant with wicked threaded eyebrows proceeded to place a rectangular thingy on my back, which was attached to the end of the tentacle. Electronically controlled  rollers shifted over my skin, pinching with a kind of aspiration effect. 

What was this robotic matrix I’d found myself in. Things on earth had become too automatic.

Take for instance, every consumer care specialist from At&T to American Express; they all sound the same whether they’re working out of Texas or India.  

I am so tired of hearing assholes over the phone tell me that they “understand” when they clearly don’t have an effin clue what I am going through. Or worse yet, they do know but have been forced into sounding like inauthentic cold robots for the sake of company policy. 

What has happened to singular expression? 

But I digress. 

If you are going to use a robot to ease my pain, why not employ assistants who actually care to give the treatment?  Or at the very least, let’s kill the overhead florescents and give the room a few candles and a paint job. 

By the time the assistant reached my “tush,” Dr. Kinney waltzed in and sat down on a stool by my bed. He reminded me of a poor man’s version of Roger Sterling of Madmen. 

As I was prompted to flip over,  Dr. Kinney explained how in 1985, a man by the name of Louis-Paul Guitay (LPG) from Valence, France, experienced a devastating burn injury. During his excruciating, and prolonged physical rehabilitation sessions, “Guitay began to fantasize about helping the therapist by mechanizing his protocols for greater consistency.”  

He designed the first working prototype of the CELLU M6, which was said to encourage collagen growth. Eventually the apparatus traveled across the Atlantic where it devolved into a post-liposuction/cellulite treatment. 

“It’s like physical therapy for those who have had cosmetic surgery,” Dr. Kinney explained.

Because of course people who have been sucked and pulled also need PT. Duh!

The machine helped make you dimple free but improvements could also be observed on “pathological manifestations” such as fibrosis (sclerodermia, scars, irradiated skin), edema (lymphedema), stiffness, post- surgery pains and minor muscle aches and pains associated with fibromyalgia. Depending on the problem, five to 15 successive treatments were recommended, at a frequency of 2 to 3 a week.

In a preliminary study in the treatment of fibromyalgia, pain intensity and the number of painful tender points decreased by 60% and 50% respectively, after 15 sessions of mechano-stimulation with LPG Systems Cellu M6.  

So why wasn’t Kinney advertising this to more Fibro patients rather than soley focusing on those that wanted to trim fat and remove cottage cheese?

And why had my own rheumatologist prescribed Cymbalta (an anti-depressant) without batting an eye but not LPG? Was she unaware? Was she motivated by kickbacks? 

And even if she did suggest it, would i drive all the way to Beverly Hills for for a mechanized massage? 

Don’t get me wrong, somedays my body aches so much that pressing up against the corner of two walls feels pretty spectacular. But given the choice,  I’d opt for human touch rather than a robotic sucking rectangular thingy. 

Reinvent Your Chocolate Stash

Like my mother, I usually keep a bar of dark chocolate hidden in the refrigerator, or buried behind the quinoa in the cupboard.  But, for those of us looking to improve our health, chocolate is not on the top of our grocery list of beneficial superfoods.  

Newsflash: we’ve been eating the wrong kind of chocolate!  The adverse affects of chocolate: cavities, diabetes, weight gain, are all caused by the dairy, sugars, and other fillers added to the dark chocolate I (and my mother) have stashed in the fridge.

Raw, organic cacao can actually prevent cavities, regulate blood sugar, and promote weight loss.  It is also the highest whole food source of magnesium (which we could all use more of), and a great energizer.  

You’re thinking, okay, great, but does it taste as good?  

YES!  

The Gnosis Chocolate Simplicity Bar, has the same dark chocolate taste as your favorite go-to brand, but with a richer, melt in your mouth quality that is out of this world. (I’m indulging as we speak … Yum!!)  

Try one out, share it with your mother, enjoy yourself, and bee healthy.  To purchase this perk, head over to http://www.indiegogo.com/honeycolony?a=581852 and support the HoneyColony campaign!

 by Whitney Ullom

VITAMINERAL GREEN ~ Organic, Raw and Vital

I start my every morning with a superfood smoothie. Sometimes I add chia seeds for inflammation and organic hemp seeds for protein. Sometimes I sprinkle in bee pollen. But I always use Healthforce Nutritional’s Vitamineral Greens. It’s PURE ENERGY! Not only is it organic and nutritionally dense,

It helps:

• regulate & alkalinize my blood
• strengthen my immune system
• detoxify daily
• help my liver, kidney  keep healthy.

I can feel it’s potent energy and the label proves that it is filled with a full spectrum of naturally occurring, absorbable and non-toxic vitamins, minerals, all the essential amino acids (protein), antioxidants, chlorophyll, soluble and insoluble fibers, tens of thousands of phytonutrients, and a plethora of other synergistically bound, organic nutrients.

I like that they manufacture everything in house. 

Like WOW!

Impressed with the product, I reached out to Healthforce during the making of our film Vanishing of the Bees.  They became sponsors and supporters of our vision. They are dedicated to vibrance and optimal health through food!!! 

This is a pure example of the integrity I want to offer on @HoneyColony.

The company has donated 20 jars of vitamineral greens 150 Grams - Product Retail Valuethat I am offering for $20 (shipping included). Get green while enabling HoneyColony to bring you a healthy buzz. bit.ly/IKas2N 

Royal Jelly to feel like a Queen

Produced in the beehive, royal jelly is a sacred and magical substance that cannot be recreated synthetically by man. It’s what turns bee larvae into an elegant queen! Yes it’s actually the food of the Queen Bee and it’s the most beneficial product in the beehive.

The worker bee, who eats honey and pollen, lives for only 6 weeks, while the Queen Bee, eating an exclusive diet of Royal Jelly, lives for approximately 5 years! The only difference between the two bees is their diet. 

Royal jelly contains such as B-complex vitamins, amino acids, 12.5% crude protein, trace minerals, some enzymes, antibacterial and antibiotic components, and trace amounts of vitamin C.

Just a few of the commonly associated benefits of royal jelly include:

• - quick boost of energy
• - Weight Loss 
• - Healthier skin and hair
• - Strengthened immune system
• - Reproductive health - fertility
• - More resilience to colds/flu
• - anti-inflammation. 

If you are going to consume Royal Jelly, it’s very important that you find a company that cultivates this juju in an ethical manner! Bee Alive offers a proprietary encapsulating process that allows them to use 150 mg of pure, fresh Royal Jelly — all natural, never freeze-dried. 

I am offering  a three month’s supply for only $75 ($100 value) in exchange for supporting my Indiegogo campaign. It usually costs $100. 

Nourishing & Healing Ourselves with Food

I am dreaming up a world where health-conscious individuals gather online to share information and their love about the healing power of bees and plants. Just found out Big Ag is killing you and you want to learn how to feed yourself? Interested in the healing properties of propolis or learning about the energizing and healing affects herbs & superfoods? Want to get off your meds by changing your diet? 

That is what HoneyColony is all about.

Please help me carry out this vision. The site will be driven by hive mentality and insightful recommendations and reviews. And add to our swarm intelligence, we will also be joined by an advisory panel of experts. People like Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum and Ann Louise Gittleman. 


If you pledge, I give you a sweet perk in return. That’s just the way the honeybees fly. It’s a constant exchange. 

These are all exquisite products I’ve handpicked. Could be as little as ten dollars to sample Aseda Raw Honey wild raw organic honey from Ghana Africa or $20 to mix HealthForce Nutritionals organic greens for the smoothie you plan to start blending. Or a $500 Bee Deluxe package with all things honeybee including an Ellen Page-autographed copy of Vanishing of the Bees. The perks are always changing so check it out before they’re gone. 

Sweetly, @MaryamHenein

http://www.indiegogo.com/honeycolony

Virgin Raw’s Bee Panacea

Everything in the hive is healing magic. And I believe with reverence and moderation the bees are willing to share. That’s just the way they fly.

VirginRaw blends pollen, royal jelly and propolis into honey and then adds algaes, herbs, botanicals, probiotics and super foods to create the ultimate Bee Panacea. My Finnish James Bond of a boyfriend detected the nuances and the potency of this elixir’s energy with only one small spoon.

Right now you can purchase a jar for under retail price as a special. Please take a moment to check out my IndieGogo campaign. 

HoneyColony helps heal hive and humans

If you have knowledge to share about healing or are looking for information about health and nutrition, join our hive on HoneyColony. bit.ly/JcJrXB

THE CHALLENGE

In the world we live in, our paradigm for health and healing is dominated by allopathic medicine with an emphasis on surgery, tests and doling out prescription drugs. It is a multi-billion-dollar industry and while it provides many important and life-saving solutions, it leaves out a holistic approach to health and almost completely discounts a nutrition and food-based approach to health.

Thankfully, that is changing, albeit slowly!  Not only do we have access to cutting-edge nutritional science; we are remembering the importance of listening to our bodies. Food is truly thy medicine and more and more of us are tapping into thousands of years of ancient nutritional wisdom.

But with all the information online and on the shelves, how do we really know what is good for us and what isn’t??

I’ve seen countless folks walking around the aisles of whole foods not knowing what to buy. For instance, not too long ago, I bumped into a Hispanic man with red swollen eyes who had been exposed to Asbestos on the job. He wanted to buy a heavy metal cleanse. No one told him that without first changing his diet and doing a colon cleanse, he could make himself VERY sick. (Note asbestos is not a heavy metal but a heat-resistant fibrous silicate mineral used for insulation that can contribute to cancer & scarring of the lung tissue).

I know what it’s like to be caught between these worlds and utterly confused.  After a terrible SUV VS pedestrian accident, I went from a healthy go-getting journalist to a confused young woman in pain.  Frustrated with the traditional medical system, I did my own research, pouring hours into reading about nutrition and holistic healing.  

Luckily, I am persistent and resourceful. But it made me wish there was a way for other people in my situation to find reliable information in such a confusing world.

The solution:  HoneyColony 

After finishing my documentary Vanishing of the Bees, it became evident how integral these virgins of toil (aka honeybees) are to our human food system. Not only do they pollinate one-third of our fruits, veggies and nuts, they also illustrate what can be achieved when a society operates with hive mentality and the greater good in mind.

Bees teach us so much about living cooperatively and harnessing the power of community! They are my heroes and not one day goes by where I don’t thank my sisters for their sweetness and splendor.  

Their success depends on sharing information. Together they create a superorganism  When the hive works together, it becomes more intelligent than any single bee.  

On a basic level, the honeybee’s dilemma is a tale of two flower patches. Foragers use a figure-eight motion, better known as the Waggle Dance to alert the hive that one bed of lavender is yielding better nectar and pollen than the other. Each element of the dance — including motion, scent and possibly even sound — gives eager followers clues to the nectar’s whereabouts.

Their success depends on sharing information transparently. HoneyColony replicates this model for humans by allowing users to find products and information based on knowledgeable recommendations and real reviews from experts (Honeycolony will also feature an advisory panel of nutritionists and doctors)   Products that are good for human health and the health of the earth will naturally generate a ‘buzz.’

To find out more about HONEYCOLONY please check out the Indiegogo campaign: bit.ly/JcJrXB

The Perfect Storm of Autoimmune Disease

Being the persistent and relentless journalist that I am, it was no surprise that my foray into the world of autoimmunity also became a self-assigned feature article. I often injected myself into stories.

When I wrote about the cultic properties of Amway, I attended meetings and watched distributors draw circles on boards while conspicuously squirting Sweet Shot, their Amway breath freshener into their mouths.  

When I wrote about the psychological aspects of Plushies – humans who have sex with stuffed animals – I infiltrated their list serve and posed as a plushiefile called Moushiepuss.

And when I wrote about Patti Stanger’s millionaire club for Penthouse Magazine (long before she became Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, lost weight and paired up with the Papaya King to crate her own gluten-free chili dog), I pretended I was a gold digger and participated in several rounds of speed dating.

Yup I’ve come a long ways since then. I’ve traveled from the root chakra all the way up to the celestial world of bee-ings. I tell myself I’ve been given a second chance, survived death to contribute something meaningful and global to the planet.

Like the bee, I too am now a canary in the coal mine. And like my sisters, I am also a messenger with something to share about our environmentally-too-toxic existence.

What had I been exposed to in the past six months that contributed to (or was solely responsible for) the ongoing every day pain I was now experiencing? Not only did my old injuries oddly hurt, but new ones did too. Every day different muscles ached. Today it was my calves tomorrow perhaps my upper back. It felt as though I had been pummeled by something. Where had my stamina disappeared to? Gone were the days were I could bike across town or do burpees in between lifting weights. Now I had persevere to finish a hike or yoga class.

After rattling my brain, I came up with suspects that created the Perfect Storm, prompting my immune system to attack itself:

Pesticide Kill

This past September, I showed Vanishing of the Bees at the Global Foundation for Democracy and Development’s Environmental Film Festival in the Dominican Republic.  Prior to going to the event in Santo Domingo, my boyfriend rented a condo in a small town called Juan Dolio, set up along four interrupted stretches of road, following the shoreline. Online travel sites claimed you could “jog or cycle in safety,” however we were forbidden from walking to a restaurant merely five minutes away. Oh and did I mention we were surrounded by rifle-toting security guards 24/7?

During our last afternoon there, I heard a horrible loud noise outside our casa. I assumed it was a leaf blower and strutted outside to ask the gardener to turn the damn thing off since it was drowning the last sounds of ocean I would be hearing for who knows how long. I learned that the ghost buster gadget on his back was not a leaf blower but a pesticide applicator. I learned this because a) when he turned around and I noticed hombre was wearing a gasmask and 2) a mist of poisons wafted my way. He was seemingly fumigating mosquitos by the sea. Mosquitos which sparrows would undoubtedly soon be eating.

“Basta, Basta,” I yelled, which means stop in Italian not Spanish.

It was too late. I’d inhaled a woof of poison. I chased him to the front of the house where he finally turned the machine off. Security guards gathered around with their guns. We stood there as chemicals gushed out of his hose, splashing onto the cement. He left somewhat confused.

When I saw the owner an hour later, she apologized but again I don’t think she really knew why. And her inauthenticity showed me she also didn’t care.

Candida Albicans

I am an anti anti-biotics kind of chick, and yet I was forced to take them FOUR times in 2011.

Last April, I traveled to Vieques, Puerto Rico to housesit and take a much deserved break after four years of non-stop and I mean non-stop work on Vanishing of the Bees. It was also the beginning of my relationship and I was on a remote tropical island with my lover, a nearby swanky W Hotel  and only 9000 inhabitants. It was paradise sauf for the neighboring crazy roosters on steroids. (Cock fighting is still legal in Puerto Rico and to get the birds revved up they actually give them roids! But that’s another story).

They say that we exhibit unbelievable stamina through the toughest of times. But stress however eventually takes its toll. Overburdened, my body collapsed and I got a bad case of Strep Throat. I had not been sick like this in years. Despite copious amounts of garlic cloves, salt gargles, oregano oil drops, and visualizations I was not improving.

I was so sick and feverish that my boyfriend bribed the local pharmacist to sell him some antibiotics. There was no way I was going to wake up at five am with 102 fever and wait in a jam packed office for the one doctor on the island to give me what I already knew I needed. (I’d Googled my symptoms online and diagnosed myself.)

Later in the year, I experienced four different urinary tract infections. Within half an hour my pee would turn into blood, ruling out any chance of taking alternative remedies.

By the way, infections that demand antibiotic treatment do not arise de novo out of the air. Usually host immunity is poor. Interestingly, one of the most common infections seen with Lupus involves the urinary tract.

The repetitive use of antibiotics is a main cause of the infectious overgrowth microorganism known as Candida Albicans. Antibiotics do no distinguish good bacteria from bad. So when they are used in excess, ‘friendly bacteria’ and/or specific nutrients in the blood are destroyed. Host resistance is then lowered and the opportunistic organism begins to invade and colonize the body’s cells tissues and finally organs.

These colonized yeast fungi in turn release their own toxic chemicals into the blood that further attack the immune system, permitting the fungi to continue their tissue invasion and cause even more serious symptomatic disorders. Eventually the immune system has been challenged so often that it loses its ability to eradicate Candida.

Some of the most frequent Candida symptoms include: (I bolded the symptoms I was/am experiencing. Id’ have more if i wasn’t already so damn diligent with my diet.)

abdominal gas and bloating, headaches, migraines, excessive fatigue, cravings for alcohol, anxiety, vaginitis, rectal itching, cravings for sweets, inability to think clearly or concentrate, hyperactivity, mood swings, diarrhea, constipation, hyperactivity, itching, acne, eczema, depression, sinus inflammation, pre-menstrual syndrome, dizziness, poor memory, persistent cough, earaches, low sex drive, muscle weakness, irritability, learning difficulties, sensitivity to fragrances and/or other chemicals cognitive impairment, thrush, athlete’s foot, sore throat, indigestion, acid reflux, chronic pain.

Fungal yeast overgrowth in the human body is not taught in medical schools. So despite the fact that autopsies have found kidneys and other organs literally clogged with yeast cells most doctors have not had any training in fungal yeast and often disavow that it even exists.

The prevalence of today of Candida may be most directly related to the widespread societal exposure to antibiotics. Crazily they’re prescribed for colds, infections, acne, you name it. And let us not forget the additional consumption of antibiotic-treated foods such as meats, dairy poultry and eggs. Ten of thousands of human die each year from the drugs’ overuse. By the way antibiotics do not kill viruses, only bacteria.

I personally don’t take any synthetic birth control but for those who do, keep in mind that the female hormone progesterone enhances Candida growth. It is in excess in the post-ovulary days. The postmenstrual flare up is no surprise since blood is an excellent culture medium. The use of tampons may also be a fungus activator. A tampon is a foreign body used in a warm cavity filled with stale blood. Ew!

I experienced Candida years ago following the hit. Sticking to the Candida Control Diet is one of the most essential things that you need to do in order to get rid of overgrowth. The diet means no sugars of any kind, no wheat, dairy, or grains.

Let’s say you have been following this diet for three months and then decide to have a small scoop of ice cream. Presto! Your yeast is now alive and reproducing again. You’re now back to day one on the Candida diet. You simply must be vigilant in order to eradicate your overgrowth.

Environmental Toxins

A global crisis has emerged where autoimmune diseases now touch millions of Americans. And the figure is increasing at alarming rates. Scientists all over the world agree that autoimmune diseases are acquired thanks to some environmental trigger, genetic risk being the smaller part of the equation, writes Donna Jackson Nakazawa in her pioneering book The Autoimmune Epidemic.  

Toxins implicated in autoimmune diseases such as pesticides, solvents, industrial chemicals, even household cleaners and hair dyes are everywhere.

We now know that when bees store pollen grains that the pesticides and fungicides synergize. Well they are also interacting and synergizing within the immune cells of our bodies. And when the body’s immune system is occupied with an external threat, it may be more likely to misfire, which happens in conditions known as autoimmune disorders.

“They are sabotaging an extraordinarily complex and fine-tuned blueprint for healthy cellular communication,” says Nakazawa.

And the truth is that we are spilling, spraying, dumping, and coating thousands of chemicals in our food, soil, water and air.

“We are the environment. What we put into it, we also put into ourselves. What we do to it, we also do to ourselves,” she adds.

We are the bees.

Residual Trauma

I experienced a near-death experience. I was placed on a hospital bed in a the emergency corridor at Cedar’s Sinai for 24 hours without a sip of water & broken bones because they did not have a room available to operate. My entire body was stiff in rigamortis fashion from the impact. My boyfriend smuggled a sip of water and transfered it to me via a kiss. (The woman I am today would have demanded a sip of water. Who leaves a young woman dehydrated and doped up on morphine for a day?)

So in reality, who knows what the incredible jolt of being hit by hulking metal at 40 miles an hour does to a person. Or to me, Maryam and my unique genetic makeup and imprinted programming.

I do know that my body jammed in fight or flight. The stress affected my gut bacteria, fatigued my adrenals. My gut slowed down, the pain caused depression. And who knows what the true impacts are of having titanium living inside the body?

The brain and the integrity of the gut are intrinsically linked. In fact they’re inseparable. Did you know that more than ninety-five percent of the body’s serotonin is found in the gastrointestinal tract? And they’re tag-teaming capabilities directly impacts the immune system.  

In short, my system haywired.

Now taking into account the perfect storm I’ve just described, consider that a number of studies and proposed models of disease suggest that trauma may in part contribute to autoimmune diseases.

Despite the physical, emotional and spiritual work I’ve done over the past decade, the accident chinked up my armor and I still feel I have some residual trauma lodged in my body.

Here I was in a cross walk daydreaming of what I was going to cook my boyfriend for dinner – broiled salmon with mango sauce—when an immense force hurled into me. If the trauma was a sentence, it would read ‘life is not safe.’

To top it off, I was forced into an intensive course in patience because I developed “a non-union, which meant my broken bone was in “permanent failure” mode.

This planted another disastrous and malignant belief – ‘my body doesn’t know what it’s doing, so i better intervene and control everything.’

But as I continue to expand my consciousness and delete negative belief systems that oppress, all that is changing. In 2012, my declaration is: “my body knows what it’s doing.”

I am in a state of gratitude for this planet and the mysterious imperfect perfect way it flows and unfolds. And gratitude ladies and gents is alchemical magic. 

I am being asked to slow down and listen to my body and to the presence in each moment.

“In the name of the Light, I affirm I am in Perfect Health.”

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The next installment will go into Lupus and Fibromyalgia and talk about the road to a healthier life.